Vox Vixen

I miss my second love so much… The sad thing is, I’ve been busy with my studies and work for the past 3 years that’s why I had no enough time to talk and bond with him… I could not even visit him in his room for the past 5 months… for the past five months that’s he’s in pain, I was not by his side.

I could still remember when I was a child, I used to play “parlor-parloran” with him. I’ll pretend to shampoo and cut his hair, and then after that I’ll massage his forehead. Sometimes, while he’s asleep, we’ll draw lines on his face only to be surprised that he’s awake and then he’ll make funny faces. Whenever I feel “senti”, or whenever he plays his guitar, I’ll request him to sing Bread’s song, “If”. It really amazes me whenever I see him pluck the guitar strings, whenever he sings songs of Bread and The Beatles… It’s as if whenever he plays the instrument, they become one. He inspired me to try playing it, I even bought one, but unfortunately, the guitar’s not for me.

I lived with him during my first two years in college. I could still remember that I often get lost (I came from the province so just imagine how shocking Manila’s streets were for me back then) or get stranded because of floods or the rush hour. When that happens, he’d fetch me. I could still remember when we had a rush project for one of our major subjects back in first year college. I had to stay overnight with my classmates just to finish it for the next day’s presentation. I was crying because my mom did not allow me. My aunt talked to my mom and even though my second love is tired from his work, he accompanied me from Tondo to my classmate’s house in Quezon City. I could still remember how he says, “ang sipag-sipag naman ng inaanak ko” when he sees me studying, how he says, “dapat magpahinga ka rin” when I’m still awake at 3am just to review for my major exams. I could still remember when he says, “gumaganda ata ang inaanak ko ah…” which really flatters me. I could still remember how proud he was when I told him that I passed the PMA entrance exam. We were imagining the possibilities that I might be the Valedictorian of PMA’s 2013 batch, that I’ll be a general, that on my graduation, if ever I’ll be in that prestigious military school, they’ll all be present and happily listening to my Valedictory speech. He even told me that if I were his daughter, he’d throw a party for me for passing the PMA entrance exam.

I miss my second love… If only I could turn back time, I’ll hug him and say how much I love him. I’ll say how thankful I am for having him in my life. But it’s too late for that now, for my second love’s gone… All I could do is to cry as I gaze on his lifeless body…

Ninong Buds, I love you and I’ll miss you so much. You’ll forever live in my heart. The sound of your guitar and your lovely voice would forever play in my ears… Your kind words will forever inspire me to do the same for others.

See you, ninong Buds. See you someday… in heaven. :) I’ll make sure I’ll bring your favorite Macapuno when that time comes. I’ll expect you to fetch me on that day, ok? I love you ninong…. I can’t let you go but I know I should… you’re in a happier and in the most beautiful place now… I’d be selfish if I won’t let you go…

So ninong, goodbye… for now… I know someday, I’ll be listening to your guitar again… and you’ll sing “If” for me again. Hay ninong, I love you so much. Thank you for everything, thank you… :)

See you in heaven. :)

makeeful:

Hanggang ngayon gusto ko pa rin malaman kung nagustuhan mo ba ako noon… Pwede mo na bang aminin sa akin ang totoo… gusto ko malaman… salamat.